The Shrine Maiden and the Oni
by Hardman 5509
Summary: Exploring the life of Suika and Reimu following Reimu becoming pregnant with Suika's child. Cover-art by Peptosis on tumblr
1. Will You?

Peace in Gensokyo is much like an ice sculpture in the middle of a summer heat wave; it wouldn't take long for it to melt or take much effort to shatter it. One person, or one short sentence could just about do it.

"I'm pregnant, and it's mostly likely yours."

Suika almost dropped her bottle of sake as she did a double-take right at Reimu. Reimu, despite just dropping something with the equivalent payload of a warhead, still retained her usual stoic demeanor. Her expression looked the same as if she told Suika to run down to the store and get some milk.

"Yes." Reimu nodded. "Eirin got this from the Outside World. This proves it; I think?" She pulled up a small tube-like device that she had been playing with and showed it to Suika. The tube had a little window in the middle that a single red-line running down it. Next to the window, there were some words in English. Suika blinked, trying to understand. "It means I'm pregnant." Reimu translated for Suika

Suika put on an extremely stressed-out smile. "Okay…" She muttered.

"You best be taking this seriously." Reimu wagged a finger in Suika's face. "I am keeping the baby, and you…" Reimu reached her hand forward and snagged ahold of Suika's ribbon and yanked her across the table to give off a powerful stare right into the oni's eyes. "…you're sticking around. No more running off up to your loft in heaven, no running underground to hang out with your friends, no running off period." Reimu leaned her forehead against Suika's just to ensure that her stare would further burrow into Suika's soul.

"I gethca, I getcha." Suika nodded her head rapidly.

Reimu didn't hold her grip for too long, she actually relented and let Suika go. "Sorry." Reimu sighed. Reimu? Apologizing? Let alone to a youkai? "Sorry." She repeated, as if she wanted to make sure that Suika heard correctly. "It's just…" She held up her hands to try and hold her thoughts, but she ended up dropping with a long sigh. "…I never expected this to happen. Ever." She rested her elbows on the table and placed her head on top of her hands. "I might be over my head with this one."

Suika had often seen Reimu despair, but that's usually because of (constant) money issues or failure to stop an incident on her own. She looked like, and now sounded like, someone who just had the world come crashing down on top of her. Suika scooted over to Reimu's side of the table, and gently laid a hand on her back. Reimu did look up, with an odd mixture of sad anger staring at Suika. Suika wisely retracted her hand off Reimu.

"I don't want pity." Reimu choked out. It looked like she's going to cry. "I just…" She held up her hands again, but once again dropped them. "…what do I do?"

"You said you wanted the baby…" Suika reminded her.

"Yeah." Reimu grunted back a choke. "Yeah. But there's so much that needs to be done." She got up and started to pace around the table. "I need supplies obviously; the baby is going to need a lot of help from us." She pointed a quick finger at Suika before going around the table again. "Clothes, special food, a place to sleep…and we got to keep changing that as he slash she gets older!" She stomped her foot down, almost tearing a hole through the floor.

"Maybe you're thinking too far ahead…" Suika piped up, only for a very accusing stare to bore through her.

"I need to think far ahead to make sure our kid grows up well!" Reimu pointed out. "In case you've forgotten, you've just helped conceived the next member of the Hakurei bloodline! That means, he or she is going to be working here at the shrine, and they need to make sure…" Reimu looked back towards Suika, or rather, specifically at her large and very obvious horns. "…well, I've already spotted another problem." Reimu clicked her tongue.

"What's wrong with my horns?" Suika rubbed them, thinking there's something on them.

"Our child." Reimu looked a bit pale. "Is going to be half-oni slash half-human." Reimu got right into Suika's grill-space with a very interesting look. "…do you realize what this means?"

Suika knew better to say what's on her mind, but she felt like saying it. "That our child will become the first half-oni half-human in about three hundred years?"

While Suika expected Reimu to blow up in her face, Reimu did raise an eyebrow. "Really? Three hundred years? Man, I guess the oni have been…" Reimu shook her head before going into what Suika actually expected, full of rage. "Look, you drunken buffoon! I am not trusted among the humans because I generally hang out with youkai…but the moment I have a half-youkai child on my hands…let alone…pushing it out…"

She couldn't even finish her sentence. Reimu started to make some noises as she got up and trembled over to a cabinet on the other side of the room to lean on. Suika, out of fear, just sat there and watched Reimu, much like how a child would after seeing a parent having a meltdown.

But once she heard Reimu starting to cry, Suika jumped up and went over. "Hey, hey." Suika patted the sobbing miko on the back. "It's okay…"

"No, it's not. Once the news gets out, the villagers will grab pitchforks and torches." Reimu muttered out with her mouth pressed against the the cabinet's top.

"I'm here!" Suika patted Reimu hard on the back, enough to cause Reimu to bounce off the cabinet. Suika yelped and backed away as Reimu held her forehead in pain. "Sorry, sorry!" Suika rapid-fired out some apologizes.

"For what?" Reimu groaned, her voice cracking. "Knocking me up with a child that will most likely insure my complete downfall in society, or for assaulting me?"

"Both!" Suika held up a finger, before trailing off with a long, low-pitched groan.

"Look." Reimu sighed, sniffing and trying to calm herself down. "I don't mind the fact that I am pregnant." She placed both of her hands around her still-flat stomach area. "It's bound to happen, it's practically apart of my destiny as a Hakurei Shrine Maiden: making sure I can continue the bloodline. And…" She sighed again, looking away. "I don't mind the fact that is YOU that put me in this mess."

Suika's eyes started to light up with love-struck stars. "Really?"

"Well, there are a few others that would be better than you…" Reimu snarked back, taking advantage of the opportunity that Suika just blundered into. "But at least it's someone who's honest. And someone who at least lives with me, so I don't have to make that much more arrangements…" Reimu played with her collar before continuing, sounding incredibly unsure of her. "But as the child will play more importance in my life now, we're going to have to cut down…"

"I could get a job." Suika shot up. "I could support us that way."

Reimu had to hold back a laugh. That would sound a bit too insensitive given the situation. "Without getting totally drunk while on duty, let alone getting a job while you still have…" She once again made references to the very large and very still obvious horns protruding out of Suika's head. "I don't think you can get a job in the Human Village."

"Okay, then I'll go and get a job somewhere with the Yo-kai!" Suika nodded her head and pumped her fists. "Scarlet Devil Mansion or Eientei surely must have some jobs on hand!"

Reimu tilted her head in thought. That did make some sense, but she considered if Remilia actually had money (Doubtful she pays the fairies…it actually makes more sense that the fairies working there are actually indentured servants) or what sort of horrible things that Eirin might do to Suika given what Reimu had seen Reisen look like. She didn't want the 'father' of her child to be horribly mutilated, but on the other hand…

"Give it a shot." Reimu sighed. "If you do that…" She sighed and leaned back against a wall. "I'll consider listening to you for a change." As Suika gave her a rather toothy smile, Reimu just shrugged. "After all, we are going to be living together, so might as well allow you the same rights."

"Could we…" Suika puckered her lips out while looking away. "Do it…"

"Not a chance in hell." Reimu venomously stated.

"Figured." Suika sighed. "I suppose having a wedding is out of the question?"

"Oh, well, that's doable." Reimu sighed, as she looked off. "Might as well invite all of the youkai 'friends' and make it youkai friendly. Might as well!" She repeated with a loud tone. "This whole thing has gone down the toilet anyway…"

Suika would have added something to that, but she recognized that Reimu is starting to crack into insanity. A good time as any to go off and find a job. Leave her alone for a while to cool off, or at least let another visitor take the blunt of whatever sort of wraith Reimu might inflict. "Well, while you're steaming, I'm heading off to find a job!" Suika got out as she practically launched herself out of her seat and towards the exit.

"Who's steaming?" Reimu roared out, prompting Suika to pick up speed. She ended up passing an oncoming Marisa, who stood her ground as the little oni blew past her.

Marisa chuckled. As she went inside the shrine, she called out to Reimu: "Oy, what did the little gremlin do…"

She didn't have time to finish her sentence before a big orb that reflected humanity's dual nature smacked right into her face.


	2. Matters In Order

Okay, a job. A job that will pay her money so she can support Reimu and their child. And maybe a little extra for herself so she could get her own booze…

No, no. Suika groaned. She needed to focus on the main objective of making sure that Reimu had a stable source of income. About time too, she really can't rely on donations the rest of her life. Not that it isn't her fault given her status as Gensokyo's constant savior, but then again…it is Reimu, the lazy shrine maiden.

Suika considered her options. Going to the Human Village is entirely out of the question. Not only would she be immediately rejected for being a youkai, but it would force Reimu to come and bail her out once the villagers mobilized to hunt the oni down. Didn't want to put pressure on the expecting mother. Her next best option is Eientei; Eirin is always busy and could use an extra hand. Of course, the problem is that Suika had no idea what kind of work she could receive from Eirin. Could be handling heavy materials or delivery, or playing guinea pig to whatever new shady drug that Eirin cooked up.

Suika did recall a conservation with Eirin, with her moaning about how people always accused her of a crafting a new drug that would ultimately cause chaos. But then again (Again), the only time Eirin ever came up in a conservation is talking about her latest drug, so…

Reimu wouldn't like it if Suika went to work for the Moriya Shrine. Sure, THAT would attract plenty of money, but Reimu would consider it to be money from Makai itself. And while Suika knew Yukari a little bit better than most people in Gensokyo (Which didn't say much) there's no telling what kind of hoops and hurdles Suika would have to pass through to get paid working at the Yakumo household.

So, Suika made her way towards the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Maybe she could get a nice maid's uniform…for Reimu to wear once she pops out the child. Suika started to drool at the thought and failed to heed her direction.

She bumped right into a much taller figure, bouncing off and landing on her butt. "Woah there!" Cried out the tall woman. "Watch were you're going, I almost spilled my…oh! Suika!"

The tall woman reached a hand down, with Suika grasping it earnestly and allowing to be picked up. She too had recognized the other, the other being her old friend, drinking buddy, and fellow oni Yuugi Hoshiguma. "Where you off into such a hurry?" Yuugi asked, scratching her free hand behind her head. "And what's with that smile? Done something special lately?" She asked, pointing a sharp finger at Suika.

"Oh?" Suika asked, a bit dumbfounded as her mind had gone a bit ajar. Once she regained her bearings, she asked of Yuugi: "Can we go somewhere a bit private? I need to tell you something special."

Yuugi pushed out her lips. "Okay, yer in trouble are 'ya? I'm guessing you did something at that shrine of yours…" She lead Suika off the path into a nearby thicket.

"Well, funny you mentioned that!" Suika nervously chuckled.

"Odd, I can sense nothing apparently wrong in this part of Gensokyo." Yuugi muttered to herself as she scanned the surrounding area. "I'm guessing you didn't trash the shrine…so I'll hazard a guess and say you did something to the miko…"

"Yes." Suika nodded. Yuugi tilted her head, expecting an answer and not a quiz game. Suika sighed, looked down and fully admitted: "I got Reimu pregnant."

Yuugi needed a few seconds to properly calculate what all of that meant. Her proper response to hearing and understanding all of that is to lift her head back and let out a sky-shaking laugh that echoed throughout the land. Suika just stood there, watching as her oldest friend completely lose it. Tears formed in both of Yuugi's eyes, she clutched her stomach in pain, and even got down onto her knees to bang the ground (Leaving behind small fist-shaped craters) as she tried to control herself. It's amazing how she managed to keep her dish from spilling the sake

"Ooohhh…." Yuugi breathed out, having gotten over most of it. "…you did possibly the _worst_ thing you could ever do in all of Gensokyo. You just did the _worst_ …" Yuugi didn't have it in her to repeat and got into another bout of laughing her ass off. Suika groaned and shook her head as she witnessed the descent into insanity.

Figuring it would be best to get both back on track, Suika added in: "I'm going off to the Scarlet Devil Mansion to get a job to support the three of us."

That at least got Yuugi to somber up (Emotionally at least) and get back up onto her feet. "Alright, alright." She managed to get out while her face still had a great deal of red on it. "You want to be serious and be a good 'father'…" She stopped and held up a finger. "Waitasecond." She rolled the words together. "The only way I can figure how 'ya pulled that off…"

"I used my powers to make…" Suika started to explain, closing her eyes.

"THE PARTY FAVOR!" Yuugi roared out again, once more losing it and actually ended up rolling on the ground, almost rolling off back onto the main road. Suika did position herself to stand in right there to make sure that didn't happen. At least Yuugi regained control a bit quicker this time. "Oh, I remember when you used to get drunk, strip down and spin that thing around…and around…"

"Yuugi, please." Suika begged. Hearing that triggered an immediate change in Yuugi's expression. She actually went from sixty-to-zero in record time.

"Okay." Yuugi breathed hard out of her nose while her face still is flushed. "Okay. You want to take this seriously, and you need a job that can support a shrine maiden, a oni, and a hybrid." She nodded her head. "It's been a while since we had a half-human, half-oni kid running around."

"I know, right?" Suika put on a smile, finally relaxing. "I figured it would be best to head off to the Scarlett Devil Mansion first, it's closer and I think it's generally safer than the other jobs…like working at Eientei."

"Yeah, I've heard that Satori actually threatened to take Orin to Eirin, so that might be a good last resort." Yuugi rolled her head around. "But then again, you'll have to deal with all of the kooks that live in the mansion."

"I can handle it." Suika sighed, rolling her arms around. "…and…I am prepared to beg…"

"Woah there." Yuugi held up a flat hand to stop Suika." Beg? A oni, begging? That's way too low! You need to demand for a job!" She pumped her fist and stared at Suika with fire in her eyes. "Walk up to that vampire mistress, slam your foot down, but not hard enough to break the floor, otherwise you won't get the job…or you will, but your first few payments will go into paying for the damage…anyway." She cleared her throat first so she could get back on track. "…you slam your foot down with enough force to wake everyone in the room from their stupor and say: "I am Suika Ibuki, and I would like a job with decent pay!"

Suika did feel a bit amped up. "Yeah, yeah! I could make her give me a job!"

"Yeah!" Yuugi pumped her fist again, holding it in the air this time. "In fact, you could demand for the deed for the mansion! Screw the shrine, get a mansion!"

"YEAH!" Suika shouted, pumping both of her fists into the air and holding them. "And then I have to do is to deal with the time-stopping, knife-throwing maid!"

"YEah!" Yuugi replied, but with her bravado going down as a simple realization came onto both of them. "And…the crazy sister capable of destroying anything."

"…yeah." Suika muttered.

The two held their pose for a good long minute before finally dropping them in awkward silence. Yuugi coughed, scratched behind her head and admitted: "Maybe just ask nicely. Be polite, be a good listener, that sort of thing."

"Yeah." Suika got out. She pointed off in the general direction of the mansion. "I'll just be off now."

"Good luck." Yuugi threw up her arms for a second before dropping down. "I'll see you at Mystia's stand tonight, my treat regardless if you get a job." She held up a hand and waved. "Bye." She muttered out before resuming her original path from before, stumbling a bit. Suika coughed before she too went on her way to the Scarlet Devil Mansion, more worried than before. There's a lot riding on her shoulders now. At least it reminded her of exactly when and Reimu did the little dance.

A month back, Suika returned from her little Heaven-side home to see Reimu. Reimu actually looked happy to see her, having been lonely without having a houseguest or much visitors to the shrine, both of donators and whoever Reimu sees as 'friends'. They spent a good long night drinking and catching up on what they missed out on.

…Suika can't black out or faint from over-consumption of alcohol, but she can get a bit loopy and be a little sleepy. And she clearly recalled that Reimu was more than happy to strip down and allow Suika to 'play' with her. Suika must took that as: "create that weird external organ."

Oh boy, that's going to be fun explaining that to their son/daughter if and when he/she asks about how they met. "Oh, yeah, we didn't intend for you." That would give the kid a load of confidence. And what if they have a second kid and they ended up both asking? "We planned you Kid B. You happened Kid A."

Suika shook her head. She's thinking a bit too far ahead with this. Right now, she needed to focus on the now. Now, she needs to get a job. With the front gates of the Scarlet Devil Mansion dead ahead, Suika cleared her throat and strode forward with some confidence.


	3. Sounds Reasonable

_To Zalazar: Habrá capítulos centrados en Reimu, así como también otros personajes centrales . Se disculpa por mi español malo, estoy usando Google Traductor porque I failed español 2 en la escuela secundaria._

* * *

Suika considered her words as she stood in front of the gate to the Scarlet Devil Mansion. It wouldn't take much to set Remilia off or just order her a-many servants to the oni out of the mansion. Suika could reasonably take on most of them on her own just fine, but Sakuya and Flandre could take her on and could win.

And that's if she can get inside in the first place. On the left side of the gate is Hong Meiling, leaning against the stone wall while looking down. It looked like she fell asleep on the job…but Suika knew better than that. A normal person or a complete idiot would assume that Meiling is sleeping, but in truth…she is, but she's highly alert to things happening around her. If Suika were to try and sneak past her, Meiling would wake up and do something harmful to her. There's also a good chance the same thing would still happen if Suika were to try and wake Meiling up. And doubtful Remilia would listen to an intruder.

Suika quickly found the best method to awaken Meiling. She grabbed a rock from the nearby road and gave it a toss towards the otherside of the gate. As soon as the rock smacked against the wall, the literal second, Meiling launched herself over and stamped a fist on the wall, leaving behind a crater. "Nice try, Marisa…" Meiling murmured, still very much asleep. It took her a second, but she did open her eyes, and let out a horrified scream.

"What's wrong?" Suika asked as she walked up to the trembling Meiling.

"I damaged the wall again!" Meiling gulped as she looked around frantically. "I thought I sensed an intruder…do you see them?" She asked as she slowly retracted her hand out of the wall. "Please tell me you saw someone!"

"Nope, I just came by here to see Remilia and you just decided to punch a wall." Suika shrugged. "Maybe you should get a vacation, it sounds like you spend too much sleeping on the job."

"I can't, Sakuya will skewer me if I suggest it…"

"What about finding someone to take over for a bit?"

"I can't, Remilia will fry me…"

"Okay, are you telling me you have to watch the gate 24/7 without a replacement?"

"I can't, my body will die on me…"

Suika patted her forehead, sighed, and just asked. "Can I go inside? I want to talk with Remilia about something…and I won't tell her about this." Meiling almost raised an objection, but her eyes darted back to the hole she made in the wall, so she wisely decided to open the gate for Suika and let her inside before going scurrying around the area to find materials to repair the damage before anyone noticed.

Suika generally knew where she needed to go. The mansion itself is outfitted with a ton of illusions and traps to make sure that anyone that does manage to intrude and have devious plans for the inhabitants wouldn't get far before either getting lost or captured. Suika had been here plenty of times before (Usually to try their vintage wine) so she generally knew where to step and where not to step. She ascended up the stairs and took an immediate right, heading straight to a parlor room.

She peered into the room, and thankfully, Remilia is just sitting in a nice chair bored out of her mind. Sakuya is tending to her, delivering a tea-cup and some crackers. Remilia leaned on an armrest as she stared aimlessly towards a wall and occasionally opened her mouth to let out a sigh.

Suika knocked on the foyer door, earning the attention of both Remilia and Sakuya…as well as some soul-piercing stares. "Who's there?" Sakuya asked in a stern voice.

"It's me, Suika Ibuki." Suika waved as she opened the door just enough for her squeeze through. "I'm here…" She only got out before a series of knives flew into the door right next to her. Suika froze on the spot.

"State your business and then beat a hasty retreat." Sakuya continued with the same tone while also pulling out more knives. Remilia put on a gentle smile.

"I'm here to try and get a job…" Suika gulped as she froze in her current position.

"A job?" Remilia parroted, sounding completely confused. She turned towards Sakuya for clarification, who just merely shrugged as her response. "A job…for what?" Remilia asked with a hint of annoyance creeping into her voice. "What kind of job would a oni want, let alone for what purpose?"

"Can I come in without being skewered?" Suika asked.

Remilia sighed, rolled her head and rolled her hand. Sakuya understood and put away her daggers, but keeping a hand ready to throw them if necessary. Suika held up a hand as she nervously stepped into the foyer properly, taking only the most cautious of steps as to not set off either the vampire mistress or her loyal hand servant…

"Hurry the hell up!" Remilia growled, baring her fangs. Suika then immediately darted over to the nearest chair next to Remilia, turning it around to face Remilia. "Okay, a job." Remilia hid her sharp teeth, but kept the foreboding tone about her. "As I asked, what kind of a job would you want here, and for what purpose do you want it for." She started to open and close her hand to show off her sharp nails. "If it's just for booze, then I will have you…removed."

"It's for the Hakurei Shrine." Suika told. "I want to support Reimu."

"Ah!" Remilia clapped her hands together, seemingly letting go most of her anger towards this uninvited guest. "A magnanimous goal…with a little hint of desperation that implies so much about the events surrounding everyone's favorite shrine maiden!" She let out a childish cackle, but she caught herself and turned it around to a more noble-sounding laugh. Sakuya cleared her throat to get Remilia back on track. "I supposed we could use more help around here; fairies are too scatterbrained to do some proper work."

"Milady, aren't you concerned with Ms. Ibuki's…weaknesses?" Sakuya reminded her. Remilia gave Sakuya a weird look before looking over to Suika and noticing the big purple gourd affixed to Suika's hips.

"Right, we can't just hire any beings with god-like power." Remilia started while folding her fingers together and then leaning on them so she can glare at Suika. "We need to make sure you are fully capable of performing your duties without impairment as well that you won't start unnecessary fights on the premises, both when on-duty and off-duty." She sighed. "Ms. Ibuki, while we are aware that drinking is important to onis and we here at Scarlet Devil Mansion respect other culture's beliefs, will you be able to remain sober when you arrive for work and while on-duty?"

"Yes!" Suika nodded immediately. That was a bit of a lie, she herself didn't know if she would be able to live up to that promise.

But it seems that Remilia and even Sakuya bought it and continued. "Now I don't think I need to ask about your qualifications and skills, I think we're already aware of what you have done and what you can do. My next question is; what kind of work are you expecting…" And with a toothy grin Remilia added: "…what kind of pay are you expecting?"

Suika gulped and broke out into a fountain of sweat. The one question that nobody could answer honestly or correctly. Her hands balled up into white-hot fists and she started to lose focus. Remilia continued to smile at her while also pushing out a tiny laugh through her teeth. Sakuya offered no reprieve and continued to leer at her.

But she did reply with: "I'm looking to do whatever tasks I am told to do for pay relative to the work I accomplish!"

Remilia fell over backwards in surprise and even Sakuya seemed blown back by Suika's response. As Remilia clambered over herself to get her and the chair back up, Sakuya took a bit to recompose herself. "Well!" Remilia coughed out. "I guess…we can have you on staff."

Suika had to repress a great deal of expressing her happiness. It would ruin the moment and most likely give Remilia an excuse to fire her immediately.

"Going with her high strength…" Sakuya started while adjusting her collar. "We could hire her on as a maid and have her move heavy objects around the household."

"Sounds good, yeah." Remilia got out before looking over at Remilia. "When…when can you start?"

"Anytime." Suika shrugged.

"Alright, then tomorrow it is then." Sakuya filled in. "Come and see me at one past noon sharp so we can get you a proper work uniform." She stopped fidgeting with her collar and got back to her usual sharp and crisp stance. "See you then Ms. Ibuki. I trust you know the way out?" She waved over to the door.

"I do, thank you so much for this opportunity!" Suika exclaimed while bowing.

As she headed over to the door, Remilia called out to her: "Ms. Ibuki, the Hakurei Shrine has always been in financial straits for as long as I can remember. What prompts you now to seek out employment?"

"Oh, I knocked up Reimu." Suika told…then immediately regretting saying. Whoops, she forgot to restrain herself.

That statement sent a chill far colder than a freak blizzard ever could throughout the entire room. Remilia just went still in shock while Sakuya closed her eyes and started to whisper seemingly a prayer. Suika stood in the doorway of the parlor for a long time, scared of moving. She finally got out with: "I'll just be leaving now…" She nervously got through the doors again, closing it ever-so gently.

Nobody in the parlor room said a word, not until Suika passed by Meiling trying to melt stone by casting fire magic out of a book and long since departed the premises of the mansion. Remilia and Sakuya remained still until Remilia opened her mouth to say: "Damn."

"Milady, remember your own vows before considering breaking them."

"I intend to do no such thing with the shrine maiden…"

"Oh, and those letters addressed to the shrine that you have me seal into envelopes are just friendly letters?"

"H-how dare you read those without permission!"


	4. Important Chat Over Simple Tea

Marisa didn't find being smacked in the face all too funny. She did find Reimu's news quite hilarious though.

Reimu found smacking Marisa in the face pretty funny. She didn't find Marisa laughing at her current issue hilarious.

"Wow." Marisa coughed out, after finally controlling herself. "Of all of the people in Gensokyo, you end up with Suika? Not that I am too surprised, but hoo boy!" Marisa slapped her knee. "So, what's your plan?"

"Keeping it." Reimu sighed as she poured Marisa a cup of tea. "It will be difficult in a-many ways, but I'm having the child."

"More power to you!" Marisa took her cup and raised it to Reimu. "And I offer my services as a baby-sitter for your kid…" Reimu put on an immediate and dangerous-looking glare at Marisa, which got the witch to recoil. "What?" Marisa grunted. "You don't trust me?" Reimu continued to stare at Marisa until Marisa recanted with: "I'm not going to do anything with the kid! I swear!"

"I can already see it." Reimu sighed as she laid an elbow on her table and leaned on her fist to continue to leer at Marisa. "I go out to do some errands, and once I come back I find you holding up my kid and asking for money so people can pat the baby on the forehead to increase their luck or some nonsense…"

"Pfft!" Marisa blew a raspberry. "I ain't that greedy, and I wouldn't take advantage of someone's kid, let alone my best bud!" She scooted around the table to sit next to and wrap a hand around Reimu's neck. "Come on, have some faith within me!"

"I got it." Reimu put on an easy smile and turned towards Marisa. "You can go and do my errands for me while I spend some time with my kid!"

"That's not cool…" Marisa puckered her lips out as she looked away. "I guess I can, but I won't like it…"

"I'll give you money for candy…"

"Deal!" Marisa's eyes shined as she reached her hand out so they could shake on it. Reimu emitted a low sigh as she accepted it. Looks like she's getting some training in how to deal with kids, offer them a sweet incentive and they'll do whatever you want!

This did get Reimu to think about the future as she went to make some snacks for Marisa. The kid might be a big burden right now and for a great deal of years after he or she is born, (Mostly likely a she, given what's the majority of the population in Gensokyo) but once she's old enough, she could do _chores_.

Oh, she couldn't wait! Reimu even did a little jump out of excitement. No more sweeping, no more cleaning, no more doing menial tasks! And once the kid reached the right age, that kid could happen incidents on his/her own! And Reimu could do…well…

…Reimu had a sudden realization of something she hadn't put much thought into. She kept herself quiet as she prepared a tray of some rice-balls and delivered back to Marisa, currently picking at her teeth. A closer inspection showed that the witch isn't picking, but rather feeling if any of her teeth had gotten loose or damaged after she got attacked by Reimu.

"Marisa?" Reimu started asking. "Would you consider me…boring?"

Marisa seemed honestly shocked by that question, maybe even more than when Reimu considered it as well. "Well!" Marisa coughed out. "That's a loaded question if I ever heard one!"

"Really." Reimu firmly stated as she set the tray down. "I just realized…that outside of my duties as a shrine maiden and protector…"

"Reluctantly."

Reimu shot a glare before continuing: "…outside of those things, what else do I do?"

Marisa grabbed a rice-ball and waved it around before speaking. "Well, you play some shogi, eat snacks, drink tea, and…" Marisa stopped waving the rice-ball around so she could look up and think. "…well, that's about it as far as I known you."

"Exactly!" Reimu pointed a finger at her as she sat down. "I don't have a life outside of being a miko! Once my kid takes over, I'm going to be even more bored than usual!" She groaned as she leaned back in her seat.

"Wait, the kid hasn't even formed yet, and you're already considering making it the next shrine maiden?" Marisa asked.

"I don't have any plans of having any more kids past this one, so this one is going to be the next one." Reimu patted her stomach. Still flat. For now. "And besides, I got to pass on the Hakurei legacy at some point and retire, I can't spend my entire life fighting whatever threat comes here!"

"Yeah, it sounds like you're trying to push your duties off on someone else… _someone who isn't even born yet_."

Reimu groaned as she leaned an elbow on the table. "I wonder if my mom and dad thought the same thing about me." She pondered out loud. "I guess I should wait and see if my kid actually develops the same abilities as me."

"Yeah, then…" Marisa got out between bites into her rice-ball. "What happens if the kid's takes more to Suika?"

"Yeah…" Reimu looked off to the side as she wondered the same thing as well. But another sudden realization came onto her. "Suika…is the fun one." She merely stated.

"Pardon?"

"Suika is the fun one!" Reimu pounded both of her fists onto the table, almost causing the drinks to spill over onto the floor. "I recall hearing a few parents mention this! The fun parent!" Reimu got up with a groan and started to pace around. "The fun parent is the one that has the least responsibilities but is the one that kids look up to the most!" She did a mix of a squeal and a groan as she tugged on her big bow. "The kid isn't going to listen to me!"

"Okay." Marisa sighed as she put down the rice-ball, actually putting on a more serious attitude. "Look, speaking as an only child, parents that try to compete for affection are the worst." She pursed her lips and looked a bit off to the side. "Don't do that to your kid. They'll like you if you treat them well."

"But I don't want to be a boring parent…" Reimu sighed. "I don't want to be the stay-home mom…"

"Then don't!" Marisa took her turn to point a finger as she stood up and placed a foot on the table. "You got eight or so months to get your ducks in a row! Figure out what sort of things you like to do!"

"Don't stand on my table." Reimu growled.

"Just making my point more dramatic!" Marisa stated as she retracted her foot. "Don't worry about Gensokyo's safety, I'll get the other heroines to help out while you're on paternity leave." Marisa stroked her chin and wondered out loud: "I wonder if I could convince Cirno…"

"Just keep the information on the down-low for now, okay?" Reimu sighed. "I still have a lot to think about, and I don't want people coming around here and asking questions about my baby and my relationship with Suika."

"Until your belly pushes outward past your head, huh?" Marisa flashed an all-too-familiar cocky smile. Reimu groaned but nodded her head. "People are going to find out eventually; they ain't going to believe a lie that you gotten fat and suddenly lost all of the weight overnight, nor that the baby living at the shrine is an orphan abandoned at your doorstep!"

"All I get abandoned at my doorstep are unwanted guests." Reimu muttered to herself. "Please, Marisa…I'm not too comfortable with people knowing about this right now."

"Alright, alright." Marisa held up her hands. "I just came by to say hi before doing my own errands." She summoned her broom out of the air. "See you around, Reimu!" Despite having been multiple times in the past not to fly out of the shrine, Marisa blew through the thankfully open doors and out into the sky. Reimu didn't have the energy to get up, go out and shout at Marisa for doing that. Honestly, she just wanted to lay here and think for a long while by herself.

She's having a kid. Reimu really never saw herself having one, and now she's saddled with one…let alone having one of the natural enemy of humanity. There's going to be so much trouble for her down the line and not just relating to the usual issue of raising a family without warning. People aren't going to take too kindly to a half-youkai half-human. Keine only got away with it due to her specific nature of only revealing her youkai-form on a full moon.

The child of the protector of Gensokyo is going to be born with horns. Kinda hard to hide.

Reimu laid up against the nearest wall and clutched a hand around her stomach. "Don't worry." She whispered to her still-forming child. "I'll do my best."


	5. Our First Night Together

Nighttime had kicked in before Suika returned to the shrine, with her presence being announced to Reimu by an orchestra of crickets playing a symphony of random notes. Reimu peeked her head through the shutters to see a happy yet completely drunk Suika stumble towards the shrine with the goofiest smile on her face. Reimu emitted a low growl before heading over to the door to wait for Suika to enter.

Which sounded it would be a while; Suika tried to locate a door knob on this Japanese sliding door.

Reimu gave up and opened the door so she can bellow: "I'm guessing you went off drinking instead of looking for a job!"

"Job?" Suika questioned as she tilted forward. Reimu stood out of the way in the hopes of being able to see Suika fall to the ground. "Oh job!" Suika snapped her fingers. "Yeah, I got one." She pointed at Reimu. "Jjjjuusst for yoouuu…"

Reimu didn't know if she should feel skeptical about Suika, Suika of all people and things, getting a job, let alone landing a job within the span of half of a day. Maybe she should feel regretful for accusing Suika without knowing all of the facts?

Nope, feeling angry. Ain't apologizing! Reimu continued with a bewildered: "Really? And where is that?"

"Scarlet Devil Mansion!" Suika let out a cheer by holding her arms up…and holding them there as she wondered out loud: "Where do they get mon-mon-money anyhow?"

Reimu would have snapped back at Suika, but now that did lead back to the big question as what the Scarlet sisters made their fortunes on. They had to have a source of money, sometimes they donated real money to the shrine! Reimu quickly dismissed the thought to continue interrogate Suika. "I'm guessing you got a job as a court fool?" Reimu flicked a finger at Suika's forehead. "Certainty tanked enough to be a fool."

"Oh, I got the job _hours_ ago." Suika waved her hand around behind her. "…like, an hour after I left?"

"Suika, you left the shrine _eight_ _hours_ ago. Where have you been?"

"Drinking." Suika shrugged.

Reimu felt ready to punch Suika. But knowing how drunk the oni could get, and the fact that most onis tend to be stronger when they drink, it would mean that Reimu would be losing a hand for the better part of an entire season. All Reimu could is sigh, let Suika inside, and draw the oni over to the main room so they could continue talking there.

"You know, it's like we are a real wedded couple." Suika giggled. "The workaholic alcoholic husband coming home late, and you're the wife that berates him and occasionally punishes him by smacking…"

"You are aware that I could smack you with a brevity of holy objects?" Reimu grunted as she helped Suika to sit down. "Including some good old beans?"

"I would prefer a frying pan or a rolling pin…" Suika puckered her lips and looked away sheepishly.

"Those would break into a thousand pieces if I were to use them on you." Reimu shook her head as she sat down next to Suika. "Look…I'm happy you got a job, hopefully you can keep it and get paid. Remilia is quite stingy." Reimu took a breath before asking: "What job did you get?"

"Heavy-duty maid." Suika breathed out, seemingly starting to lose most of her buzz. "Ya know, move things around too heavy for the others."

"Sounds good." Reimu admitted, putting on a very small smile. This did feel nice, actually talking in this sort of manner. It felt like a family. Reimu dropped the smile, and did a silent prayer to the god of the shrine to not jinx then. "What time are you starting?"

"One past noon sharp tomorrow." Suika perfectly recalled. "I'm getting me…" She started to rub up against Reimu while baring a little fang. "…a maid's uniform." Suika winked at Reimu. "I can wear it for you too…"

Reimu started to blush, and heavily at that. She didn't really have a maid fetish or really view Suika in a sexual manner (Despite…you know…sleeping with her.) …but thinking about Suika in a maid's uniform, a modest maid's uniform mind you…that did send her heart a-fluttering. Perhaps because it's cute?

Suika's giggling brought Reimu out of her thoughts. Oh, tease me will you? Reimu fired back with: "Sure you can wear it." Reimu pointed a finger to stall Suika's pleasure. "Only if you call me Mistress and obey my orders."

That didn't help. Suika nodded and added with a sensual voice: "Of course, my Mistress."

Reimu groaned and turned away. "You weren't supposed to…" She started before groaning again and shutting up.

"Ah, cheer up!" Suika cheered as she smacked Reimu on the back, actually managing her strength this time not to send Reimu flying or give her back pain. "Things are looking up! We should go out and celebrate in town tomorrow!"

Reimu huffed. "I am going to see Eirin tomorrow for some advice, so unless Remilia pays you on the spot, it's just going to be eating at home." Suika nodded in response. This is nice.

"Now, for another important part." Suika started by clapping her hands. "Sleeping arrangements!" Reimu put on an incredulous glare. "Well, if we're going to live together, I would prefer we slept together…" Reimu intensified the glare. "…in the same room?" Suika let out a nervous giggle and shrug.

"Fine." Reimu groaned. "You can move your…" Reimu didn't have time to finish that sentence before Suika immediately darted off to grab her bedroll and move it into Reimu's sleeping quarters before zipping back to her spot. Reimu shook her head and dejectedly add: "…well, okay then."

"Just doing my part." Suika cheekily admitted.

At this point, the whole shrine went quiet, allowing the orchestra of crickets to continue. Suika and Reimu stared at each other; Suika with a solid smile and Reimu with her patented annoyed look. The awkwardness kicked in almost immediately and Suika started to fidget in her seat. Reimu let out an occasional sigh or breath. It seems they both were looking for something to add to the conservation, but didn't know what.

"So!" Suika interjected into the silence. "It's getting late."

"Yeah!" Reimu shot up before going back down with: "Yeah."

"Bedtime?" Suika suggested.

"Might as well." Reimu sighed once more as she got up and headed off to change.

This did lead Reimu to remember Suika's first night here. That was quite a surprise to turn a corner and face an entirely naked oni, and quite annoying when the oni suggested that she should sleep in the bluff as well. Suika did at least switch over to some jammies…but not without protest. That didn't stop Suika at times trying to go back to her usual sleeping 'outfit'…or stealing Reimu's clothes from doing the same.

But it's not like it's was that big of a deal. After all, Reimu and Suika went bathing together…a lot actually, now that Reimu is thinking about it.

"When did we first start going to the hot springs?" Reimu asked as she took off her top.

"Hmm?"

"Hot springs, bath house, that sort of thing?" Reimu added in as she stepped behind a screen to take off the bottom part of her outfit without driving Suika crazy. "First time we went together?"

"Oh, a week after I we first fought!" Suika snapped her fingers as she remembered. "Good times!"

"Yeah, because you saw me naked for the first time." Reimu muttered under her breath. At least Suika didn't hear it and add in some perverted response. Actually, Suika didn't make a big deal about seeing Reimu naked. Unless Suika went into a frantic dance while alone to properly express herself without giving away too much.

Reimu got dressed in some standard white jammies, with Suika doing the same. The two snuffed all of the candles and walked into the bedroom together, yet silently. The two, in a stiff manner, got into their bed-rolls and readied for sleep. Suika turned over to Reimu, with Reimu just staring at the ceiling. Suika didn't wait too long to start talking; she knew that Reimu would need her sleep and annoying her would a mistake of epic proportions. "Hey, Reimu?" Suika called out.

"What?" Reimu groaned, her voice already hinting towards violence.

"I'll keep it short." Suika wisely brought up. "One, do you think it's possible we could get a single bed…"

"Fat chance."

"Oh." Suika muttered. "And second, and last…good night kiss?" Suika leaned in, puckering her lips. Reimu groaned yet again, but did comply with Suika's request. Reimu scooted forward a bit, just enough to stick her head forward enough for Suika to lay a single kiss on her cheek. Reimu swore she could taste whatever Suika drank this day, but she kept silent about it as Suika whispered: "Good night!" And turned around to start sleeping.

"Good night." Reimu sniffed out as she followed suite.

The first day of being a 'couple' ended silently and rather awkwardly for both of them.


	6. Wake Up

Honestly, Reimu didn't feel like sleeping, at least for long. There's just so much bouncing around her head now, she can't focus on going to sleep and staying asleep. The fact she got something close to a proper amount of sleep is rather amazing. She's having a baby, she's getting married someday, she'll have to deal with the slings and arrows of those opposed to her baby and marriage to a oni…

Or maybe's it's the fear that her husband-to-be would roll over in her sleep and one of those sharp horns of hers would come a bit too close for comfort?

Regardless of what her current fears happened to be, Reimu woke at the crack of dawn. She looked over and noticed how peaceful Suika looked to be in her sleep. Suika had this big, goofy smile on her face. It's hard to really hate her at some times. Maybe this could work out? Reimu sighed as she got up and sneaked around Suika so she could get dressed and make breakfast.

Heck, this isn't anything new to her. Reimu regularly made meals for multiple people multiple times, and Suika is actually the second most common person that Reimu shared meals with. Marisa is the first of course. Now this did mean having to cook at least two meals for them every day, and then for three people. Or more, if other people decided to come by or outright live here.

Honestly not a bad idea. Reimu could start charging rent.

Once she threw on one of her robes, Reimu made her way to the kitchen of the shrine; really just a small stone fire, a counter-top and a pantry. Anything that would need to be kept cold would have to eaten the moment it arrived at the shrine. Reimu would love to afford one of those fancy otherworld things called 'fridges'…but she lacked something else called 'electricity.' One thing at a time.

Reimu looked into the pantry. A basket of eggs delivered to her as a donation (About a third were cracked and runny), a big transparent bag of rice (Halfway finished) some spices (They could be outdated), several boxes of snacks (As they were the souvenirs of the Shrine), a few packets of tea (When Reimu felt too lazy to make tea the 'proper' way) and what looked to be (And hopefully) a basket of herbs. Eggs for breakfast. Reimu groaned as she realized she would need to go shopping after seeing Eirin.

She cracked three eggs into a frying pan; one for her and two for Suika. That's about the closest to luxury eating in this shrine. She sprinkled a light amount of spices and herbs into the eggs, before heading outside to get some water from the pump to prepare both some rice and some tea. Might as well give Suika the best possible breakfast before work.

As she watched the bowl of water staring to boil, Reimu did wonder if she would need to get Suika up every morning. Suika is a late riser and someone who goes late to bed, and despite her going to bed around the same time as Reimu, Suika might still be hung over…or she would just sleep it off and right through the first day of work.

A quick gaze over to a sundial in the yard showed the time to be around eight. Suika starts work at one, so she's got quite a few hours ahead of her…

Nah, not going to go through the effort of getting her up with only fifteen minutes to go. Not chancing it. That, and Reimu realized she just started making breakfast without Suika being up.

Reimu waited until the eggs were nice and cooked. She dropped the eggs onto separate plates, and took the still hot pan into the bedroom. It's a bit cruel, but it might be the only way to get this possibly-sleeping-drunk-oni up. With a little sigh, Reimu gently laid the pan down on top of Suika's head in-between the horns. After a few seconds had passed, the sound of sizzling hair and skin started to slowly and rather quietly play out.

Suika yawned and stirred, with Reimu removing the still-warm pan off her head. "The sun's so bright…" Suika sighed as she opened her eyes. "Oh, good morning Reimu."

"Good morning." Reimu replied. "I'm getting breakfast ready, rice should be done in a few. You want to take a shower before that?" She pointed behind her in the general direction of the shower stall.

"Oh yeah!" Suika again yawned as she leapt right out of bed, immediately stripped down to nothing and raced in the direction of the shower. Reimu shivered with a slight prayer running through her head that nobody was coming to the shrine this early in the morning.

A tiny yelp proved her wrong.

Reimu couldn't bring herself to care, so she went back to check on the rice. It didn't burn, so she drained the water and poured the rice out into a bowl, decorating the top of each bowl with a fried egg, with a second one for Suika's. Reimu grabbed two pairs of chopsticks, dunking them in the used and lukewarm water as she didn't remember if she washed them, and stuck them into the bowls before setting them down onto a table.

She dug in first, later being joined by a fully-dressed and cleaned Suika. "Itadakimasu!" She squealed out as she took her chopsticks and started to shovel food down her gullet. That first egg vanished within two seconds of Suika's eyes locking onto it. The rice and the other egg followed a minute afterwards.

"Sorry, no seconds." Reimu sighed.

"I figured." Suika almost muttered under her breath. "Oh well, by the time I get home, I'll have enough money to afford steak!"

"Keep your spending moderate, we have to prepare for this." Reimu told as she lightly tapped on her stomach. "Still…steak…" She looked off as she happily imagined a sizzling hot steak being served to her, with a assortment of veggies creating a ring around the plate.

"We got to celebrate us coming together." Suika waved a chopstick around towards Reimu. A quick glare reminded Suika of proper table manners. "Then again, I guess we do need to save some money if we are to get married."

"I guess it wouldn't kill us if we splurge once every while." Reimu shrugged. In the end, delicious steak won out against all else. "But first, we need to see what kind of money you are making at the Scarlet Devil Mansion. It could be chicken-scratch, decent, or in some weird foreign currency. Be careful."

"Oh, I will be!" Suika clacked her chopsticks together. "Speaking of, what time is it?" Suika's smile faded once she gazed over to the sundial. "Nine?" She groaned. "What am I going to do for the next four and a half hours?"

Reimu smiled. Oh yeah, killing two birds with one stone is a smart move. "You can go shopping." She brought up. "But only for things on the list I'm going to give you." Reimu wagged a finger. "No booze ~"

"Nuts." Suika gulped. "I guess I can make a quick trip to the marketplace, pick up some things, and return here in time for me to get over to the Mansion…"

"Thank you." Reimu honestly told her, leaning in enough to lay a kiss on Suika's cheek. Amazing how one little kiss can change Suika's expression from dull to interested. Suika got up and even took her bowl over to the counter to put some water into it. Usually Reimu had to clean up after her guests, so at least her future partner is at least trying to do better. Her inner pessimist did say that Suika would eventually go back to her usual habits, but Reimu ignored it.

"What sort of things do we need?" Suika asked as she grabbed a towel to start scrubbing her bowl after emptying out the water.

"Basic items." Reimu sighed. "A small thing of milk, some spices, maybe some bread…I need to check first as to what we need."

"Okay, anything I can around here to help while you'll work on the list?" Suika again asked. Reimu opened her mouth, and then shut it as she realized, she couldn't think of anything. She pretty much already did most of the heavy work yesterday…meaning…

"…You can relax." Reimu sighed. Suika didn't take more than a second to immediately rush over to her favorite spot near the backyard door to go and bathe in the sunlight. Reimu did managed to add in: "No drinking. You have work." Suika groaned from her spot. "I'll make some tea." Suika let out a happy cheer.

Reimu groaned as she got to work on the tea. She started to realize that within the future, she would have to tend with two children…


	7. Help Me

They went their separate ways an hour later. Reimu handed Suika some cash, a list, and a stern lecture on keeping things on a budget. Suika nodded, and only nodded. That worried Reimu that Suika just went through the motions. Reimu sighed and watched Suika skip on her way to the market. If Suika messed up, Reimu would punish her. She might be pregnant, but she could easily wrestle Suika down and put her into a pillory and get people to pay her to throw beans at the oni.

Or she could force Suika to take a second job. Suika had too much free time to spend lazing around.

Reimu made no detours, she went straight towards Eientei. She wanted to get the lay of the land (as they say) before she did anything else. She flew right through the Bamboo Forest, blowing past any fairies looking for a battle as well Mokou, who gave her one look before going back to whatever she does in the forest.

The first person to greet her as she arrived at the household is Reisen, currently doing some sweeping of some dead leaves around the foundation. "Hello, Reimu." She greeted. "Did the product work out?"

"Yes." Reimu admitted. "I would like to see Eirin…in private." Reisen nodded her head, set the broom aside in a corner of the building and walked inside. Reimu almost followed her in…but then she walked past the broom and stopped. Her hands quivered. She swallowed a pound of hard air as she tried to get her feet moving again.

Eirin and Reisen walked outside to see what happened to Reimu, only to find her sweeping the leaves away in a near robotic-like fashion. "Ms. Hakurei?" Eirin asked inquisitively.

"It's a force of habit, okay?" Reimu groaned as she continued to sweep away. Reisen had to pry the broom out of her hands and push the shrine maiden inside to the private room.

"Ms. Hakurei…" Eirin started, pulling a clipboard off the desk and writing down some basic info on it. "Two days ago, you signed up to test an Otherworld pregnancy test, saying that you felt a bit dizzy and noxious. What were the test's results?"

"Is this going to be a publically released test – thing?" Reimu had to ask. "I rather not have this info getting out."

"I will keep it confidential." Eirin held up a finger. "First, let me take the first precaution." Eirin grabbed a nearby newspaper, rolled it up, and swatted at the top of a file drawer. A small childish screech emitted from the empty area, with a translucent cloth falling down. Behind the cloth stood Tewi, rubbing her head. She didn't have time to get out a complaint before Eirin swatted her again. "Out, Tewi, and keep this to yourself. Or would you prefer taking up Udongein's mantle for a month?"

"That's cruel and unusual, and you know it!" Tewi groaned as she hopped down from cabinet and out of the room, closing the door on her way out. That's nice of her. Eirin still had to lock the door to make sure though.

Once the room went quiet, Reimu continued. "I did test it…and it turned up positive." She retrieved the test out of her pocket and handed it Eirin. Eirin gently took it and examined it. She cracked open the case and looked at the internal workings of the device. Reimu went quiet as Eirin peeked around. Did the device malfunction and give back a wrong response? That would be bad…

"100% percent confirmed." Eirin nodded. "This test is working perfectly fine." She put the case back on the test and set it down off to the side. "This means you are indeed pregnant, and will start showing signs within a little close to a month's time. How are you currently feeling?" She asked as she retrieved her clipboard and pen.

"Annoyed." Reimu admitted, complete with grimace. "And scared…"

"It's perfectly natural." Eirin assured her. "This is your first time as a mother…wait, do you plan on keeping the child? I have to ask."

"Yes, I am keeping her or him." Reimu patted her stomach. "And Suika is staying at the shrine as well. She's even taken on a job to support us."

"Good to hear!" Eirin chirped as she scribbled all of that down. "Now then, for the drill." Eirin went over to a wall where she pulled down a screen of some basic info regarding pregnancy. Reimu squinted to read some of the smaller text hanging around the more overt images. "First and foremost, no smoking. Absolutely banned. Stay away from smokers too. Second-hand smoke is just as bad." Reimu nodded. "Minimize consumption of alcohol, almost to the point of stopping cold. One glass of wine can be good for the nerves, but not all the time. Once every other week could be pushing it…"

"What about the child of a oni?" Reimu had to ask.

"Good question." Eirin admitted in a more subdued tone, putting a finger on her chin. "Still, it is a half-human child…wait, are you human?" Reimu shot her an incredulous look. Being one of the more powerful, oldest and more mentally-grounded beings in Gensokyo, Eirin didn't react as strongly as others would when being faced down by the shrine maiden and smartly shut her trap and moved on after scribbling down some necessary information. "Tone down any strenuous exercise, that means no more running off and dealing with incidents until you get that baby out of your body…and get back into shape afterwards."

"So I can be lazy?" Reimu asked, her eyes getting a shine to them.

"Absolutely not!" Eirin wagged a finger, with Reimu's gaze going stone-cold. "You need to keep yourself active, within some degree depending on the current month. Walking is good, try to get at least an hour of walking every day. Be active, not passive!"

"Well…" Reimu pursed her hands together.

"It will help with the pregnancy pains."

"That's perfect!" Reimu perked up immediately. "I'll make sure to drop twenty pounds before I shoot the baby out!"

"Don't get too overzealous." Eirin giggled with a small wag of her head. "Overexertion will mess you up too, so you should do all things in moderation." She grabbed ahold of a doctor's pad and started to quickly scribble down some necessary information. "Diet, exercise, medication, etc.…" She yanked the sheet off and handed it off to Reimu. "I expect you to be here once every month for checkups. Once you start feeling some strong kicks, we will get ready for the birthing."

Reimu couldn't help but to start sweating and ball her hands up. This all sounds incredibly painful, especially the birthing part. Her nerves already felt wrecked, despite this only really being the second day of actually knowing, and the first one confirming it out right. So much to take all in! Her head felt ready to roll off!

Eirin did recognize this and patted Reimu on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Eientei is here for you. I can arrange weekly visits, and I'll be more than happy to come and visit you at the shrine once longer travel becomes impossible."

"Thanks." Reimu grimly spoke back.

"It will be bad for some time." Eirin affirmed. "But it will get better. Trust me."

"What about the mood swings, the constant bathroom breaks, the weird cravings? I heard those are pretty bad."

"Oh, yeah." Eirin pounded a fist into an open palm. "Those will come, and that means you can be bossy."

Reimu almost put on a devious smile. Almost.

"Thank you." Reimu openly admitted as she got up from her chair. "So, next week?"

"Unless you start feeling some severe pains, then let's meet…" Eirin consulted a mental calendar and her fingers. "Three weeks from now? Sounds good?" Reimu nodded. "Good."

Reimu left Eientei with a weird disposition than when she arrived. On one hand, she felt an easier. But then there's a nagging feeling that it's only to get much worse from here on out. It could be the general fear that all first-time mothers go through.

Or it could be a nosy rabbit following her. Once Reimu booted Tewi clear to the other side of the forest, she made her way home.


	8. Shopping and Dropping

Suika peered through the window of the alcohol store. There were so much on sale, and so many different brands right there in the display. And yet, she had to resist. The money Reimu gave her would be enough to get one good-sized bottle, but it wouldn't leave much left to get everything on Reimu's list.

Already the oni started to feel a bit under pressure. Shopping, she had work soon, this is a bit too much for her!

She sighed as she strolled through the market square. Suika shrunk her horns down using her powers and head the tiny thorns with a headscarf, just to make sure that no one would panic upon seeing the horrors of a oni shopping. Some people did give her some weird looks as she passed by them, most likely the ones with somesort of spiritual training or just possessing a general awareness of youkai. Still, as long as nobody doesn't do anything like scream and call for help, things were going well.

Well, at least in terms of getting things done. As for enjoying the day, Suika wasn't having much fun.

Suika looked at what she collected so far. She had gotten all of the items that didn't require an immediate trip back to the shrine; the bread, rice, spices, some tea-bags, and other small stuff. That left the eggs and milk; the items that were either fragile or didn't like being out for long periods of time. She then looked through her money. Yup, just enough for milk and eggs. Maybe if she picks out the small stuff, she could get some candy…

…but it is her first real day as a common law couple with Reimu. If she deviates, Reimu might call off the actual marriage…

Suika huffed as she shot up and raced towards the cold supply store. Finish the chores, head home, unpack…and then relax until work at the mansion. Reimu couldn't complain at that! Suika giggled as she rounded a corner into a alley with great speed…

…slamming right into a taller woman. Surprisingly, the taller woman merely stopped while Suika bounced back onto her butt. Did she run into a statue?

"What brings you here, oni?" Firmly asked the tall woman.

"Shopping." Suika merely replied as she helped herself up.

"Hmm." The voice grunted out. "You best not cause trouble."

As Suika finally looked at the face of the woman she ran into, she recognized it as the stern half-youkai teacher Keine. One of the many firm believers of keeping youkai and humans apart to help maintain the balance of Gensokyo. Someone who's going to most likely flip her lid when she learns about the youkai-friendly shrine maiden having a youkai baby. "I'm just here to shop!" Suika held out her thankfully intact groceries.

"So I see." Keine muttered as she looked over the contents of Suika's bags. What, is she expecting to find to human body parts in them? Suika hadn't eaten a human in years, hell, centuries! The last one transferred a tape worm to her system. "These don't look like traditional oni food…who are you buying for?"

Well, she got straight to the point. Might as well try to be somewhat honest without giving away too much details. "Reimu just asked me to do some shopping for her!" Suika replied. "She trusts me!"

"Apparently so, you haven't bought beer yet." Keine smacked her lips. Seems she couldn't let Suika have anything without adding a comment. "But that does lead to the question as to why the miko has asked you to do her shopping for her…"

"Why so many questions?" Suika had to ask.

"Because as protector of the human village, I do not like when youkai just wander through town." Keine focused a powerful stare right into Suika's eyes, trying to get the oni to back down. "Let alone one disguised. That might even be worse." She thumbed around the headscarf, feeling the tiny horns.

Suika groaned and pushed Keine away. "I'm just doing shopping! You're the more suspicious one." Keine made throaty laugh. "Don't you have class or something else going on?"

"I had another teacher sub for me once I felt the presence of a powerful youkai entering the village."

"Wait, you have other teachers?" Suika honestly questioned.

Keine didn't even bother responding to the question. "Do your business and leave." She pointed a thumb towards the woods. "I will be keeping a eye on you so you don't do something other than shopping." With a powerful gale that forced even Suika to close her eyes to protect them from the sharp winds, Keine flew off and left Suika alone.

"Thanks for nothing!" Suika called up to the sky, despite being unable to see Keine now. She even shook her fist at the empty sky. Might as well make those clouds feel her anger. Still, regardless of how powerful Suika is compared to Keine, she didn't want to the rock too much. Suika quickly went towards the cold store to go and grab the final items…

…only to run into another person. At least this time the other person bounced back instead of Suika. "Sorry!" She called out to the person.

"Suika?" Grunted out a voice all-too-familiar to Suika, one that actually shook Suika. It's Sakuya, rubbing the dirt from the road off her while still sitting down.

"Ms. Sakuya!" Suika exclaimed, quickly doubling back to the fallen maid with a hand outward. "I'm so sorry!" Sakuya groaned as she reached out to grab Sakuya's hand.

A big mistake really. Suika was so shook up by running into her first boss before she actually started her job that she didn't bother to check her strength. Sure, she grabbed Sakuya by the hand with a firm grasp, but when she went to go get the maid back up to her feet, she ended up throwing Sakuya over and back behind her head, leading to Sakuya to fly off until she landed into the conveniently placed fruit-stall. The man running the stall and the passerbys were amazed by how a dainty-looking girl could crush watermelon with her butt.

But all Suika could think about is running. At least she ran off in the direction of the cold store, grabbed her stuff, dump the money off at the counter (Cutting by several people in the process) and running back towards the shrine before Sakuya recomposed herself and got back up to her feet.

Keine sighed as she watched all of this going down. Not even a minute had passed since her warning before the oni caused trouble. Keine almost went off to drag Suika back to the village, but a foreboding aura emitted from Suika's 'victim'. Keine could clearly tell whatever punishment she could dole out wouldn't come close to what Sakuya had planned.

Still, she made a note in her head to keep a eye on the people coming and going from the shrine. Keine could tell that a lot is going there and if anything went down at the Hakurei Shrine, it tends to spread to every corner of Gensokyo…


	9. First Impressions

Suika dreaded time now. Not just because of what's to become in the future, with her becoming a 'father' and all of the troubles that come with raising a half-hellspawn in a world that reject and scorn the kid, but more so how it could just suddenly stop for her.

"Pissing off Sakuya is a one-way ticket to hell." Reimu told off Suika while absentmindly reading the newspaper. "Good job on screwing up on your job before you even started."

"I know, I know!" Suika groaned out as she paced around the shrine, sweating profusely from the nerves. Not helping her is how Reimu is looking at her; not with eye contact, but Suika could feel a strong burning glare drilling deep into her body. The room felt ready to go up in flames from an erupting volcano.

"Just hope it just means you have more work to do instead of not doing any in the first place." Reimu sniffed, again keeping her eyesight away from Suika. "You know, I just talked with Eirin today, so maybe you could…"

"Only if I have to." Suika quickly replied, interrupting Reimu. This did get Reimu to look her in the eye, but Suika let out a quick scream as she saw the scowl of death. "Okay, I guess I can work two jobs…" Suika pursed her lips and walked over to stand in a different corner of the room, feeling it to be the coolest part of the room. It still felt like being inside of an oven, but more of an oven on low heat instead of melting heat.

"I'm glad you're taking this seriously." Reimu got out through gritted teeth. She turned her head over to the sundial out in the courtyard. "Time's up, get going." Reimu firmly told Suika. Suika just merely walked out of the shrine and onwards to the Scarlet Devil Mansion, not even asking for something like a bagged dinner or a kiss on the cheek. "Good, she's learning." Reimu sighed as she got up to do some chores now that the 'Dump-on-Suika-For-Messing-Up-Big-Time' party ended.

Suika did consider running away now. Just pretend you never went to the mansion. Go into the Bamboo Forest, locate Eientei, and become a guinea pig for a sage. Sounds less painful than having a barrage of knives constantly raining down upon her. But a single thought kept her going to the mansion. Remilia is probably going to pay more than Eirin. Eirin doesn't pay Reisen for putting her life on the line all the time.

For once, Meiling is wide-awake at the gate and also stared Suika down as the oni approached. "I'm here about the job?" Suika nervously asked.

"Oh, Ibuki, right?" Meiling pointed a finger at Suika. Suika nodded. "Come on in, you are _expected_." The way that Meiling put emphasis on the word 'expected' caused Suika to break out into a bout of shivers. It seems like the entire Scarlet Devil Mansion knows what happened this afternoon, and it feels like it wouldn't just be knives Suika would need to dodge the entire time.

Taking a step past the now-open gate, Suika walked as calmly as she could manage over to the front door, half-expecting a trap to activate underneath her feet. She started getting flashbacks to that particular fun event back on the mountains with the hunters…except Suika started considering the dread of what a time-stopping maid could to do her instead of specialized hunters.

Her breathing did slow down as she got right onto the steps. So far, so good. Just the normal foreboding aura of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Suika took a deep breath, getting herself to calm down the best she could before knocking on the door. Maybe Sakuya would understand?

Seeing how a trapdoor opened up underneath her and she plummeted deep into the underground, doubtful.

Suika landed hard on a pile of straw, pushing through it and landing on the solid rock ground. At least her fall was _somewhat_ broken. Rubbing her sore tuckus, Suika got up to her feet, staring blankly at the walls around her. It looked to be a basement full of absolutely nothing. She thought it to be a jail-cell, but there's a normal looking door at the north wall that was currently ajar.

As Suika stepped forward to leave the room, a sharp noise played over nearly-dead speakers, causing her to stop dead in her tracks. After a few seconds passed with the speakers playing static, a raspy and faked voice came over the speakers: "I would like to play a game."

"But I've come here to work…" Suika moaned. "I got myself into the mood to work, and I'll probably lose the motivation if I have to play a game…"

"Don't worry." The voice coughed out. "It will be tied into work."

"Then I can just get to work then?"

"No." The voice cracked, with Suika catching onto the hint of who's speaking in the bad voice. "If you win, you survive."

"Sakuya." Suika moaned as she threw her arms down. "If this is about what happened, I'm sorry! I panicked, I just had a nasty encounter with…"

"Oh, just die already." Sakuya groaned, giving up on the voice already. The speakers died down, but not before an ominous clicking sound played out. The west and eats walls suddenly shifted, before moving forward at a deadly pace. Suika blinked a few times seeing the walls coming straight towards her with the clear intent to crush her.

She just let them come and slam together. After all, she can turn herself into mist and just fly out of the room.

As Suika emerged into the basement proper, she found herself in front of a heavily 'bemused' Sakuya, clapping her hands at a slow pace to equal her current disposition. "Bra-vo." She trailed out.

"Thanks!" Suika did a little bow, her head going down far enough for Sakuya to reach her hand up and bring it down on Suika's crown. Suika reacted in the same way a child would; an overly-loud "OUCH!", jumping back like a frightened frog, and rubbing the sore spot.

"You threw me like a ball, destroying my groceries and forcing me to repay for each, and now you have the indecency to survive?" Sakuya snarled as she tapped her foot in a 'furious-mother' like fashion.

"I'm pretty sure everyone in Gensokyo can survive that death-trap." Suika groaned as she pointed a finger back at the now sealed room. "Either by flying out, destroying the walls, and other overly-specific stuff." Suika shrugged. "Death-traps don't really work in Gensokyo actually…" All Sakuya could do is let out an angry growl, throw up her hand and walk away. "Wait!" Suika chased after Sakuya. "What about my job?"

Sakuya stopped walking. Suika suddenly had a feeling of dread and readied herself for a barrage of knives. "Your job." Sakuya repeated. "Oh. That's right. We gave you one yesterday."

"Yeah." Suika gulped. "Heavy-duty cleaning?"

"Correct." Sakuya confirmed with a tone of voice that would make a demon lord shiver. Suika started considering fleeing now; suddenly being a guinea pig sounded appealing. Maybe there's a good chance that the experiments could do something amazing for her, like turn her into a super-hero! But at the same time…the aura that Sakuya emitted kept Suika glued to the floor.

"I was told to come here for a uniform as well?" Suika continued.

"Correct again." Sakuya told in the same voice. "Now then…work. Prove yourself."

"I'm ready!" A rare burst of confidence came into Suika. Maybe by doing a job that was seen too difficult by the standards of the Scarlet Devil Mansion residents it would improve Sakuya's mood? "What's my first task?"

Sakuya chuckled. Any sort of bravado built up evaporated inside of Suika. Sakuya walked over to a nearby door and she opened it. All calmly and without any threat of violence. "In here." Sakuya pointed a finger at the room. Suika stepped forward…and her eyes nearly bugged out of her skull.

Crates. Sky-high crates. As thick as mountains. For miles around. Just a room of large, wooden, iron-reinforced crates that dominated this large warehouse-sized room.

"It's not just a matter of organizing them so one can walk down them." Sakuya started, her voice lifting up into more actual bemusement. "It's also a matter of…." She bent over to tell this directly into Suika's ear. "… _alphabetizin_ g them."

"Alphabetizing?" Suika meekly replied.

"There's nothing worse than spending half a day looking for one thing and the other half trying to get it out of the room." Sakuya sighed. "This has been a problem for quite some time now, and to be blunt?" She did a cartoonish shrug with a equally cartoonish smile. "Stopping time doesn't mean I don't get tired; both physically and mentally." Suika gulped at the mere thought of doing this work while trapped inside of a house of psychopaths.

"Alphabetizing?" Suika repeated.

"Start with the 'A's." Sakuya pointed over to one crate marked: "Antlion Antlers." Finish the 'A's by tonight: that means lining them up in a way that allows one to move normally and just pick out a crate…and you keep the job and get your first payment."

"If I don't?" Suika had to ask.

Sakuya didn't reply with words, just a devilish smile. She gave Suika a little kick to the rear before quickly quickly retreating and locking the door behind her. Suika knew that she could just use her mist form again to escape, but that would be giving up…and she would be fired.

She took a good look around the room. She could see the Antlion Antlers crate, but off to the side, on top of a box labeled 'Sea-Lion Liver' and next to a crate of 'Liver Ant' (Or was it Live Rats, but misspelled…or mislabeled?) is a crate marked: "Advertiser's Brains."

"Alphabetizing." Suika muttered to herself, realizing she would first need to trek through the wastelands of crates to find the first thing starting with the letter 'A'…and knowing her luck so far, it would be in the far back, at the bottom of the largest stack…


	10. Working It Out

_So...update._

 _It's been a while...too long. I was writing this story as I was in college, and that of course sapped me dry. And then a month after it ended...my laptop died._

 _That of course, along with , killed my buzz for writing outside of . And I had already worked on this chapter as my laptop died. That sucked the root. Sorry for not keeping you updated. I'll promise that this time I will continue to write for this and other projects._

* * *

Had she been down for a year's time? Suika groaned as she stacked a crate on top of another. Time seemed to have slowed down to a standstill.

It's this damn job. In order to get started on ordering the boxes in alphabetizing order, she first need to order the damn room first and make a list of what she had before she could actually get to work on ordering!. She only needed the crates that started with A's, but that's was a tall order already; Suika had already lost count at hundred! And Antlion Antlers crates wasn't even first or that Advertiser's Brains. There were a crate with the label of 'Abstract Fruit' and then was simply called 'AAA'. There's no way that Sakuya would know each and every crate by heart, let alone being able to tell what it inside of each crate.

And using her mini-mes wouldn't get much done. The crates were both too big and cumbersome to move around by a army of tiny Suikas. So she had to pick up each crate, indivdiually

At least Suika got around to making a walkway. That mostly involved stacking boxes in several piles that dotted all around the room. Instead of mountains after mountains, it was mountain then valley then mountain. At first, Suika had organized the piles: one pile in one area would contain the A's and the other in the same would contain everything else. And then she continued onward and started to easily lose track of where she was, what she was doing, and just flat out ran of patience.

Thank goodness the boxes were reinforced. Suika was throwing them around like a salty basketball player.

There's no way. Suika groaned as she flopped backwards onto a crate of 'Almost Comfy Pillows'. "I'm screwed." She muttered to herself. "Dammit!"

"Watch your language."

"Right, sorry." Suika muttered out before realizing she was alone. Her eyes went wide as she asked: "Who just spoke?"

"Oh, just a vengeful ghost of a man ruined by the family of the mansion. Just go about your business."

Suika pursed her lips and shot down to her feet, checking the room around her to see if any other supernatural creatures were roaming around. Remilia did have that weird vampire goat-thing and a good possibility that Flandre could just wander in and ask to 'play'.

At this point, the idea of having drugs been inserted anally started to appeal to Suika. It's just one little prick and...then, well...Eirin's drugs would be one little prick...and then about a hundred more...

"Dammit." Suika rapped a fist lightly against a crate. "Dammit, dammit." She repeated with each and every small bang to the crate. She groaned and smacked her head against the crate, leaning it there. "The hell am I going to do?"

She expected the ghost to come in and comment on her profanity. What Suika didn't expect is for the crate to splinter and for her to fall in.

She landed with a groaned 'thump' on a fairly old pillow. Suika laid there for a bit, just letting this particular wave of fail wash all over her. Might as well get used to the feeling. Suika decided that she might as well just stay there for the rest of the work period until Sakuya came to collect her. It's not like she's going to be able to complete the job, let alone being able to pay for the damages done to this crate of 'Mysterious and Inviting Orb..."

...wait, Orb? Wasn't this a crate of pillows?

Suika peered up and saw this purple and white orb floating the middle of the crate, pillows surrounding it like followers to a cult. It has this faint glow about it, this faint but warm glow. Suika felt draw to it. She got up to her feet and approached it with hands out. The Orb then flew over into her hands, where she reactively grabbed ahold of it.

The light of the orb got much brighter. Suika closed her eyes and looked away, but instead of being hit by something intense, she felt...enlightened, pun fully intended. Her overtaxed muscles started to not only relax but get a new surge of energy, the clouds surrounding her brain evaporated and soon her brain started to spark up...

The light, along with the orb soon vanished. Suika looked down to her hands, noticing a mixed glow of purple and white inside of her veins. She took a deep breath. She didn't feel funny or sick, but rather, the complete opposite.

Suika felt reborn.

She stepped out of the crate before looking back at the hole she had knocked in. She peered over to her right, looking for...ah ha! A crate full of 'Carpentry Essenctials!' Suika rubbed her hands together as she approached it and properly opened it from the top. Yup, full of wooden planks, nails, hammers; all of the good stuff. Suika jumped in and grabbed four planks, a box of nails, a hammer, and a saw.

Suika took one look at the hole and got the exact measurements she would need. With the saw in hand, she imagined the lines where she would need to cut right before she cut them in a smooth fashion. Kicking in the pillows that had spilled out, Suika tore away the broken planks before replacing them with the new ones.

But instead of the using the hammer, Suika had a better idea. She ripped open the box of nails, and promptly sucked up four nails. After a second of aiming, Suika spat out each nail with pinpoint accuracy, each one landing perfectly in place. She let out a small contented huff of air as she looked at her current handiwork. Sure, the planks were stained the same way, but she was already going to apologize for the mess.

It didn't take her long to put in the other three planks and return the equipment back to the box. Now, back to the real task at hand.

One more peer and Suika could see what is the first crate in the A's is.

* * *

Sakuya let out a annoyed huff as she descended down the stairs in the basement. On one hand, she hoped that Suika actually did do the task. Sakyua is the complete opposite of a lazy bum, but even then she didn't want the burden of having to organize all of the crap that the residents were stockpiling. Like really, what did Patchouli have need for 'Flashpaper Pads?' Is she running a gambling ring on the side?

On the other hand, she did want Suika to fail and be humbled. Sakuya had no intention of actually firing Suika; she's way too handy to lose. But she sure did love scaring the metaphorical pants off the little oni!

As Sakuya approached the door, she could hear...singing? And fairly good singing too. It didn't sound like some drunk singing a tune offkey while also stumbling around to try and remember the lyrics, it sounded like someone is knowing what they're doing! Well, Sakuya didn't recognize the song, but it sounded good! (As good as a song in this format anyway.)

She quickly opened the door and found herself starstruck. In the left hand corner of the room is the A's, stacked nicely and neatly. And the one right in the corner itself is titled 'Aardvark Azygous Abjurer.' And she could clearly see and read each label as they were organized so perfectly there's was enough room to walk down and take a crate down. A peek over to her right showed that the rest of the crates that didn't start with A were still organized very neatly.

And right down the middle is Suika, sitting down on a dirty rug while writing out the song she was singing. Is she making up her own song?

"Oh, hello!" Suika greeted Sakuya with a wave of her hand. "I was just about to call you up, or get further on the B's."

'The B's?" Sakuya parroted as she looked down the aisle. Yup, right after the A's came the first crate in the B's series: "Baby Abacus.' And there were several more crates after that too! Sakuya had no choice but to let her mouth hang open in surprise.

"Oh yes, I figured I had the time." Suika chimed in. Sakuya just noticed that Suika's tone of speech went from being rowdy and drunk to being sincere...and sober? "But I'm guessing it's twilight outside? I must be going, I've completed my required task for today..."

"Y-yeah." Sakuya coughed out, trying to regain her composure despite her jaw and brain feeling very loose. "Come on, let us get you paid..."

"And my uniform?"

"We're still mending it." Sakuya immediately got out. "Tomorrow for sure!"

"Jolly good." Suika chimed again as she walked in a straight out of the door. Sakuya felt like she just walked into a completely different dimension. That entire scene lasted a minute and a half, and yet Sakuya felt like she just lost several years off her life! Is this some sort of joke on her half? Suika's revenge?

It did make her wonder if Suika found 'something' down here. Sure, a lot of the stuff down here is a bunch of junk that the people of the mansion were never going to use despite saying otherwise. But there were a few things that were brought down here to be kept hidden away. It could be some rare babble, a family heriloom (As often true with a-many family) or...something that needed to kept hidden. And chances are, it could be in any crate, and not the one marked: 'Totally Deadly and Forbidden Materials' that Sakuya see out of the corner of her eye.

"Coming?" Suika asked from near the top of the staircase leading back up the mansion proper. Sakuya jumped and shouted back at Suika before slowly turning around to do one last inspection before closing the door and locking it.

Hopefully if Suika did find something, it's one of those good things...or at least the bad stuff would happen away from the mansion.


	11. Returning Home Differently

Night had fallen. Reimu had prepared a small meal of noodles for herself, not expecting Suika to return until long after Reimu would turn in for the night. Reimu had grabbed a book, cuddled up to the kotasu with her bowl of noddles, and kept a eye turned to the door. Just maybe Suika would get home before Reimu's eyelids get heavy. Maybe she'll come home with some bad news. Reimu felt like picking on Suika...just a little bit. A tiny bit.

She didn't do anything today. Nothing productive. Sweeped a little but that's it. Pretty much munched on some snacks and read whatever she had on hand. Maybe it's time she went and saw Kosuzu for some new books? As long as Kosozu doesn't inquire about what happened to the other books that Reimu asked for...or ask questions regarding if Marisa's is ever going to return those books...

Reimu's thoughts were interrupted by something she hardly ever heard: someone knocking on her door. She had to think about it for a second. Knocking, and not just someone barging in and asking for a snack? What the hell do you do when somebody knocks on your door? Reimu only got up after whoever knocked again. She did notice that the second knock is the same as the first; it didn't sound angry or annoyed. Who could be patient enough...?

"I bring good tidings!" Suika greeted by holding up a single grocery bag and a envelope full of bills. Reimu's hand almost rocketed over to the money. That's the most she had seen in quite some time and Suika is...handing it to her?

...she succeeded?

"Good day?" Reimu questioned, with a small waver in her voice.

"Excellent day!" Suika chirped out as she danced inside, placing a quick kiss right on Reimu's forehead and then spun towards the kitchen with the bag in tow. "I finished my work and received payment! I used half of the payment to afford some groceries for the week. The rest is for your convenience."

"Thank you..." Reimu pursed her lips and looked at the bills in her hands. This is a good payment even after the small grocery run. She could afford some 'fun' things and then have a little left to save for the baby's arrival. And she hadn't even really looked into the bag of what Suika got. Reimu strolled over to the kitchen and looked in. Inside of Suika's bag were a loaf of sliced bread (A delicacy from the other world), two fishes, a bag of noddles, and some assortment of vegetables. "That's quite the load!" Reimu commented.

"I had to haggle quite wholly!" Suika chimed up as she put the fish into the ice box. "But I obtained a plenty of food, and I shall prepare a meal for us tomorrow."

"You don't have work?"

"I do, but it's early-morning."

"Hmmph." Reimu leaned against the entryway frame. "So, what's your schedule like then? Just..for reference."

"Taking interest?" Suika asked. Reimu got taken back by that brazen comment. Suika never was on that nose like that...well, actually, she is. Honesty is a top virtue among oni after all. But Suika is usually a bit more 'coy' about it. Unless she's drunk, and even then she's more of the silly-drunk than the 'speak-thy-mind' drunk.

"Well..." Reimu spat out, stopping herself as she sounded way too much like a tsundere. It's a term she heard from Sumireko, and she had no idea of what it meant, but she didn't like it. "...I just want to see what times you will be ready. Just in case."

"Just in case." Suika parroted in a weird fashion.

"Yeah."

Suika giggled. "Well, it's going to be starting at early-morning every day and concluding at sunset. And I am expected upon to this schedule until I finish the specific job at hand. After that, I'll only need to report in every other day."

"And they pay you after each day?"

"Only if I finish the task of organizing each letter of the English alphabet."

"Interesting." Reimu commented on as she went and sat down at the kotasu. "I've already gotten something, so just prepare something for yourself." She sighed as she returned to her book. Reimu reached over to her bowl of noddles and started to eat away at it, recoiling a bit from how cold they had quickly gotten. Then again, she didn't really heat them up all that much in the first place.

Before she could do anything, Suika had snatched the bowl away from Reimu and took it into the kitchen. Once behind cover, Suika lightly blew a flame from her mouth, managing to keep a constant and consistent flame around the bowl; just enough to heat the contents without even warping the bowl. Reimu looked on with her mouth just open a flap.

This isn't the first time that Suika used her fire-breath inside of the shrine for food preparation. But this is the first time that something didn't catch on fire as a result. Reimu was deeply surprised that Suika had managed to do that without leaving behind a distinct trail of destruction. Suika returned and delivered the bowl back to the table. "Careful." She warned over the steaming bowl.

"Thanks." Reimu got out as she carefully reached into her bowl with chopsticks. She gingerly reached into her bowl and picked out a few strands of noodles, carefully pulling them up to her mouth. They were nice and hot, just like how they should be. "Thank you." Reimu repeated.

"It is of no problem." Suika shrugged as she sat down. Reimu raised a eyebrow at the sight of Suika, noted glutton and alcoholic, not holding a big plate of random food that she had pilfered from the fridge or even carrying her gourd...hey, the gourd isn't on her person at all!

"Suika..." Reimu pointed over to where the gourd would normally hang from. "What happened to your gourd? Did you leave it at the mansion?"

"Nay, I sold it."

That answer would raise the dead. And Reimu should know, she died from shock and then came back as soon as those words left Suika's mouth without even the single shred of irony or sarcasm. She sounded so sincere and pure about selling off her most cherished item. Reimu balked for a good part of a minute before finally asking: "You sold it?"

"Alcohol consumed in excess kills one's mind." Suika shrugged. "I can make-do without alcohol for the time being. I shall partake in it during moments of celebration, such as the birth of our child. And besides, we needed the money."

Reimu tilted her head in a weird fashion while giving off a equally weird look. Suika just shrugged and went on her merry way. Something has gone horrible wrong at some point. For a single second, she actually consider leaving Suika like this. Much nicer and be willing to help out...

...but dammit, this isn't the Suika she had a drunken affair with! This isn't the fun and obnoxious Suika that she hasn't grown to fully love yet! This Suika is already starting to get on her nerves as it is. Way too perfect for her liking. Oh, and it could be the start of a incident. A really weird incident where people become smarter? Not really a problem at first, but knowing the residents of Gensokyo, this could cause some serious upsets in the delicate power balance.

And Reimu didn't want Yukari coming around. If she learned about the pregnancy, there would be one of two possible reactions. One way is that Yukari will want the termination of the child, as she deems it to be a abomination to all that she stands for, and will be unrelenting in her pursuit to hunt down Reimu.

...or she will endlessly dote upon Reimu like a helicopter parent. Either option will be massively annoying so it's time to go and investigate what happened to Suika. Now, before Suika started to rearrange things according to her altered mindset. Last thing Reimu needed is Suika organizing her underwear by color...

"Come on." She reached out to grab Suika's hand. Suika looked surprised. "Yes, it's my hand. Come on, take my hand, we're going to the Scarlet Devil Mansion."

"F'r what reasoneth, at this timeth of night?" Suika asked with a sudden and unexplainable English accent. Reimu didn't recognize it, she instead snagged Suika by the wrist and dragged the oni girl up to her feet, taking her over to the shoe rack, (Where Suika put her shoes on as a obedient child.) and then made tracks to get over to the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

Reimu figured she might as well deal with one more incident before she would be required to go onto maternal leave. Something like this is pretty small compared to the more Gensokyo-shaking ones she dealt with in the past. She could resolve this by bed-time!


	12. Help Me Out

Working as a gateguard often meant having to deal with all sorts of oddities and that was amplified by being in Gensokyo. Not just the usual sort of solicitors who wanted to sell some cheap makeup to the mistress of the mansion for thrice the price of the store, but Meiling had to contend with the usual sort of weirdos that Gensokyo that either wanted to sell some really strange stuff or wanted to engage the mistress in a duel.

Cirno really needed to learn that Remilia had no interest in fighting her.

But this sight before he took the cake. Reimu is expected to some by whenever a problem comes up and she thinks a member of the Scarlet Devil Mansion is behind it. Suika is now expected as she now works here. But seeing Reimu dragging Suika here by the ear is something new alright. "I'm coming in." Reimu merely told as she passed by Meiling, opening the gate with her other hand. "You can tell your masters I'm coming in."

"Valorous evening to thee gatekeeper!" Suika greeted with a hearty tone and unusual accent.

Meiling opted to take a nap. Let the others deal with those two, she's not paid enough to handle a shrine maiden and one of the four Devas in the same evening.

Reimu didn't pay much mind to the usual sort of illusions that plagued visitors that tried to get through the mansion. She even punched one that got a bit too close to her. Really, the biggest issue getting to Remilia is keeping Suika in line. Suika is trying to escape her grasp ever so often. Not because she doesn't want to see Remilia or because Reimu is tugging on her ear hard, but more because she kept on seeing things she could clean.

"There a spoteth of dust in yonder corner the maid did miss..." Suika pointed to one sort of corner. Reimu didn't bother looking and continued to pull Suika through the mansion.

Being nighttime outside, that meant that Remilia would be up and about, possibly planning something diabolical or at least childish. Reimu figured that she would be in the drawing room so she made quick tracks there. Suika struggled yet again. "Alloweth me wend! I just wisheth to help!"

"Your weird language is starting to grate on my ears." Reimu groaned, but she did let go of Suika's ear. "But I guess I can stop with the ear-pulling." She sighed and held out her hand. "Come on, we're almost there." Suika peered at the outstretched hand. Reimu flexed it again so Suika took it the offer handily. Reimu did a low annoyed growl before continuing the march towards the drawing room.

Reimu didn't bother knocking. Well, outside of kicking open the door. Remilia's response was less of anger and more of annoyance: "Oh, hello Shrine Maiden. May I help you with something? Perhaps you came here to offer your services alongside Suika? I have plenty of coin to pay you, but I will first take the damage to my door out of your first payment..." Remilia did bother paying much attention to Reimu and got back to writing.

"I'm here for answers." Reimu spoke as she dragged Suika inside.

"Yes, Suika works for me." Remilia breathed out. "And she was paid as well..."

"Valorous evening to thee employer! I wisheth I kneweth the reasoneth as to wherefore mine own love hast did drag me backeth here!" Suika greeted with her free hand. Remilia raised a eyebrow, looking at Reimu in hopes of a answer.

"No, that's why I cam here." Reimu pointed with her hand towards Suika. "She came home like this, speaking like that and doing some unusual things."

"Unusual like what?"

"She sold her gourd."

Remilia catapulted out of her chair. That's the second that Suika has done that in the span of only one week. She probably need to stand up whenever Suika came by. "Well..." Remilia sniffed, regaining her composure. "...that's not a issue for the Scarlet Devil Mansion, let alone Gensokyo. Why not just take her to Eirin in the morning and then hunt down the merchant to convince him to resell the gourd?"

"This change obviously happened here while she was working." Reimu insisted. "So, I want to retrace her steps today and see if we can find what changed her."

"And you presume I'm going to give you either a key or a tour?" Remilia flapped her wings as she finally got up to her feet. "You have been a rude guest, let alone the fact that you aren't a guest in the first place!" With a flick of her hand, a spark of crimson traveled down her arm and into her hand came her spear. "Only one way to deal with such intruders..."

Reimu had already walked up to Remilia by this point and she took the opportunity to slap Gungnir out of the vampire's hands. Remilia groaned and just resummoned the spear into her other hand. Reimu also slapped it away. Remilia tried to just go straight for the neck, but the much taller Reimu just brought her head down and Remilia fell to the ground with a childish groan. "Look, I just want to fix Suika." Reimu trailed out as she rubbed her sore forehead. "I eventually want to go to bed and not spend all night looking for a cure..."

"Bu I am perfectly hale and hearty!" Suika protested.

"Is this whole thing because you feel intellectually inferior now to her?" Remilia asked with a finger pointing at Suika. Reimu responded by firmly grabbing the finger and bending it.

"This isn't Suika." Reimu told as she let go, leading Remilia to start out dancing around in pain. "It's not just the heighten intellect, it's also personality that's a problem. This isn't the Suika that I..." She stopped herself short and started to blush, turning away to avoid Remilia's interested gaze. Reimu really didn't mean to say that out loud.

Remilia just groaned and told: "Look, I already know you're expecting a child with Suika, she blabbed to me during the interview."

"Egads!" Suika stamped a fist into a open palm. "I kneweth I forgot to bid thee something important..." Suika barely got the last bit out of her before two very tense hands clutched around her throat and throttled her. Remilia watched, thankful that Reimu didn't go that far with her and scared that Reimu might just go after her next.

"Why did you tell HER?" Reimu asked after a bit of strangling.

"It did slip past mine own lips..." Suika weakly admitted. Reimu, with her hands still around Suika's throat, launched the oni across the room, bowling into a chair and smashing it.

"Hey!" Remilia complained. "Take your domestic violence elsewhere, that chair has been passed down through my family for generations!"

"YOU GOT THAT FROM RINNOSUKE'S SHOP A MONTH AGO!"

Remilia backed down with her hands raised. "Alright, fine." She sighed. "I'll help you fix your precious oni...if you don't kill her first." She looked over to see a dazed, but still alive Suika. "Can you keep a calm head?" Reimu flashed a toothy grimace. "Good enough for me." Remilia fluttered over to grab a robe. "Suika worked in the basement all today, so we'll check the room she organized."

"Surprised that Sakuya hasn't woken up yet." Reimu remarked, trying to calm down. "Is she away or something."

"Said something about taking like two pills tonight." Remilia shrugged. "Let's just get this done. I was doing a good amount of work before you interrupted me."

That did lead Reimu to wonder what exactly she was working on. Plans for domination? Another crazy contraption? Might as well try to find out what Remilia is up to this time. Could be helpful. Reimu pushed past Remilia to look at the drawings. Remilia tried to block Reimu or even try to snatch the drawings away, but Reimu was quicker on the draw.

"Are these..." Reimu started to ask before she leaned in closer to see what she was looking at. "...done by a three year old? I can't tell if that's supposed to be you and Patchouli..."

Remilia now showering in sweat, literally ripped the drawing out of Reimu's hands and stuffed into a drawer." Chop, chop!" Remilia chopped with her hands as well as her face started to glow red. "We have to hurry, we're all losing sleep over this! Down into the basement!" Remilia flew off in a rush towards the door the shrine pair came in and out into the hall. "Come, come on!"

Reimu sighed. "Suika, come on." She told to the still-recovering oni. Suika quickly clambered up to her feet and followed promptly behind. Reimu did feel a bit silly coming to the mansion without any her usual weapons. If they're going into the basement, that meant having to deal with Flandre. Hopefully she's asleep...and even more that curing Suika doesn't wake her up...


End file.
